508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
