tell your sister to shave her snatch
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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