I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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