I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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