She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
