Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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