How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize