I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
