I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I will pee on everything he values.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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