I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
