it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
