dude i'm inner monologue high
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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