just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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