No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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