DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
