she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
