I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize