you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
