you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
