And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Randomize
