Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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