Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
