Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
