His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
