Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
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