i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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