Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Still dying that you shit outside
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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