I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
