aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
