It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize