A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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