let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
