The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
