I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Randomize
