Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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