why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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