if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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