I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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