I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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