I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
