I need help removing her.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
