Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
