I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
even my farts smell like vagina
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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