The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
She has the best kind of daddy issues
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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