More tranny stories later!
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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