Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
