I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
