woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
