I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
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