Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Randomize