That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
