I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Girls should come with a carfax report
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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