I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
