After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Randomize
