i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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