watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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