$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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