she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Randomize