Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
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