I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize