So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
MIDGETS
????
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
