I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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