stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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