Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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