Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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