it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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