I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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