I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
my poor anus
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize