i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
