You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
