consequently i now know what mace tastes like
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
