I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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