Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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