How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize