So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Randomize
