if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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